The Prairie Scholars

As a songwriter, I have to choose every day how I'll spend my time. Each choice comes with something to gain and something to lose. It's tricky finding a balance between making music and promoting it. It would be so much easier to make music, enjoy it, make more music, enjoy it, make more music, etc. Unfortunately, just making music doesn't pay the bills. I have to make it, perfect it, then go play it in public if I want to pay my rent with my songwriting efforts.

There's only so much time in this life, and my tendency is to spend more time creating than regurgitating. When it's a choice between a weekend of playing live shows and a weekend of writing and recording, I choose the later every time. I'm perfectly happy living on minimum wages and having time to create. Work to live, don't live to work.

At the end of my life, I want to look back and see that I always allowed myself to succumb to the muse. I want to follow my creative impulses and allow them enough time and space to keep pulsing. In the end, it's not about how much money I have in my bank account when I die, it's about what will live on after me. I feel lucky that I have the opportunity and technology to record what I make instead of letting it fade away into the countless forgotten melodies.

Fewer shows, more songwriting, less money, more time. Seems like an obvious choice to me.

I really love making music. I love the process that goes into writing a new song or making an old familiar melody more interesting. It's a special feeling to share it with friends and have a good reaction. It's like cooking a meal for someone and being relieved and inspired when they say it's delicious. It feels weird to put a price on music I've created, and it feels bad when the price turns out to be so low. There has to be another way to share my music besides booking and gigging, booking and gigging. My heart would do it for free, but someone has to pay for my living expenses. The hope is that I can be creative in business and music.

Well the new album is done and out (our second of three for the year). We're really happy with it and proud to share it. You can buy your copy right on the homepage of this site. 

Here are the complete lyrics:

Meet The Prairie Scholars:

I grew up in west Texas, that’s the flattest land there could be

I grew up in west Texas, that’s the flattest land there could be

You could drive a country mile, you could look back and see a puddle of pee

The prairie land in Texas stretches out as far as you can see

The prairie land in Texas stretches out as far as you can see

You could stand up on a chair, you could see into the next county

Back in west Texas the sky can fill itself with grit

Back in west Texas the sky can fill itself with grit

And everywhere you go you can either smell the oil or the bullshit

Back on them high plains it’s forty miles to any town

Back on them high plains it’s forty miles to any town

And even if you get there you’re going to find there ain’t no one around

I grew up on them flatlands, I got that dirt in my veins

I grew up on them flatlands, I got that dirt in my veins

There ain’t no kind of dirty like dirty out on them south plains

I Feel You:

I am intrinsically flawed

I don’t see the good in the world

I shut myself off

For hours I stay alone in the dark

Now I feel you more than I have felt anyone

You break through

You shatter the night

You are my morning sun

I medicate

Try to forget what caused my pain

I lose touch

But you keep me grounded in your love

Now I feel you more than I have felt anyone

You break through

You shatter the night

You are my morning sun

Horse Thief:

The horse thief came riding out across those painted plains

He rode steady on that stolen mare through the winds and through the rains

cause they were gaining ground behind him, shit-hot on his trail

They were loading up their six guns, going to send his ass to hell

They’re going to send him to hell, that’s what they’re going to do

They’re going to send him to hell, and take that horse back too

He rode on with his head down tearing through the night

The ranch girl that he’d gone to see was now miles out of sight

Cause her daddy who had caught them had gone to fetch his gun

And the lover boy in his rush to leave became a horse thief on the run

They’re going to send him to hell, that’s what they’re going to do

They’re going to send him to hell, and take that horse back too

He hid out in the canyon praying for his life

He had tried to tell the rancher that he would make that girl his wife

But the posse had surrounded the horse thief in the night

And the muzzle blasts from their many guns made an awful wicked light

They’re going to send him to hell, that’s what they’re going to do

They’re going to send him to hell, and take that horse back too

Twenty-Six Grand a Year:

I can’t afford a new car or even gasoline

I don’t have the funds for them kind of things

But I don’t need to go on vacation

Cause all I need is a fresh libation

And everything will be alright

You know I don’t make too much money

It comes out to about twenty -six grand a year

All I want to do is dance with you honey

And I can still afford one more beer

I look at people around me and I see

Someone’s always worse or better off than me

And lately I’ve been doing some thinking

We’d all be feeling better if we did more drinking

Maybe everything will just be alright

You know I don’t make too much money

It comes out to about twenty -six grand a year

All I want to do is dance with you honey

And I can still afford one more beer

If I Were a Demon:

If I were a demon, I’d be a loyal one

I’d be a royal one, I’d be the favorite son

If I were a demon, I’d be a loyal one

If I were a tumor, I’d be a benign one

I’d be a divine one, burned off by the sun

If I were a tumor, I’d be a benign one

And I think that I would die if you never knew I

Could have been anything and always stayed the same

Lovin’ you like I do

If I were a mountain, I’d be a lonely one

I’d be a smoky one, I’d be a jagged one

If I were a mountain, I’d be a lonely one

If I were a garden, I’d be a hidden one

An overridden one, a long forbidden one

If I were a garden, I’d be a hidden one

And I think that I would die if you never knew I

Could have been anything and always stayed the same

Lovin’ you like I do

This Guitar:

Waking up in the morning, my guitar beside me she never runs off when I doze

We were out last night drinking and we went to bed thinking ‘bout how we would wake up nose to nose

And now here we are waking up nose to nose

We were gigging one weekend up in south Amarillo

Down at Burberry’s Island Cuisine

It was two in the morning and without any warning, my little baby was nowhere to be seen

My little guitar nowhere to be seen

Me and this guitar, we have both seen far down the roads of a county or two

Now she ain’t much for looking and she ain’t into hooking

But I would know here by the light of the moon

For two months I gone rambling, to where the dealing and gambling went down at the local pawn store

Quick cash in the pocket, I knew they would hawk it, and she was hanging there by the door

She’s just hanging there by the door

She looked tired and lonely, but she seemed like the only guitar in the whole world to me

And for $200 I just up and bought her when love is the price what’s the fee?

No never you mind ‘bout the fee

Me and this guitar, we have both seen far down the roads of a county or two

Now she ain’t much for looking and she ain’t into hooking

But I would know here by the light of the moon

More Than a Lover:

In the dark and cold November the leaves fall from our tree

Reminding me of all my former dignity

That you took from me, my love

Now the tree stand bare, it reminds me of

Back when you were more than a lover

Back when you were still my friend

Oh, how did you think I’d not discover

Where you had been?

Now the leaves lay all around me, broken dreams in the dark

I had always warned you, dear, how fragile we all are

But you lied to me with her

Now you both lie here in the frozen dirt

Back when you were more than a lover

Back when you were still my friend

Oh, how did you think I’d not discover

Where you had been?

Flatland Farmers:

He wakes up early morning to that cell phone chiming, time to wake up face another day

They buried all their money in a flatland farm, now the rain won’t come and the sun won’t go away

They’ve never been to California or much past Oklahoma, they just stayed at home and worked away their days

It’s a miracle she still loves him and that they are together, they haven’t gone on their separate ways

On a flatland farm you have to gamble with your life with your hard earned pay burning in the sun

The hard dry land doesn’t care or understand that the banker man has got you on the run

They jumped in their old pickup cause it still turns over, more faithful than those mindless stars above

They drove it through the prairie to the sanctuary, the First Baptist Church of Jesus’ Love

They walked right down the isle on the blessed Sunday side by side with rifles in their hands

They said they’d given money for ‘bout fifteen years now they need it back, hope Jesus understands

On a flatland farm you have to gamble with your life with your hard earned pay burning in the sun

The hard dry land doesn’t care or understand that the banker man has got you on the run

And when they left they took no more than they were due

Police men might be waiting at home for them for all they knew

On a flatland farm you have to gamble with your life with your hard earned pay burning in the sun

The hard dry land doesn’t care or understand that the banker man has got you on the run

Damage:

We give ourselves to you

We are sucked dry ‘til not even a tear is left in our eyes

And if you refuse to listen, we’re going to stop trying

We are tired and poor and hungry and we are weak

And we work ourselves to death, with no promise of a feast

Staying alive is half the battle and I sense defeat

This is what we’re made of and this is what we’ll always be

But deprive yourself of air and the damage will be plain to see

We are used but we allow it

We forget so soon the cost of a faceless lover

We could crawl back into her arms, we could run for cover

This is what we’re made of and this is what we’ll always be

But deprive yourself of air and the damage will be plain to see

So Cold:

Babe you’re so cold I don’t know why I try to hold on

While you run you run you run

Babe you’re so cold I don’t know why I try to hold on

While you run you run you run

Just like the fall leaves falling off the trees

I fell for you on that clear blue day

But I know you’ll go away, though you say you’ll stay

We both know you’ll leave, come winter’s eve

Babe you’re so cold I don’t know why I try to hold on

While you run you run you run

Babe you’re so cold I don’t know why I try to hold on

While you run you run you run

Started out so sweet, I could feel the heat

You were all good things, but now you’re a bad taste in my mouth

The light is going out, the sun is going down

And you are not around, just like I knew you wouldn’t be

Babe you’re so cold I don’t know why I try to hold on

While you run you run you run

Babe you’re so cold I don’t know why I try to hold on

While you run you run you run

This is the End:

Everyone is saying that this is the end

Go pack your belongings, say goodbye to your friends

Cause it’s missiles or it’s Jesus or it’s bonfires

It’s shifting poles or solar flares blazing from the sun

Everyone is saying there’s work to be done

They say the mission’s duties fall to everyone

Cause it’s warming or it’s virus or it’s black holes

It’s frozen bits of asteroid careening toward the sun

We only have so much time

We run out so fast, we run out so fast

We only make so much love

Life is leaving fast, it’s leaving us so fast

Some people are saying these are the final days

They say to come repent cause they know the only way

But the truth is that we’re all afraid of dying

And all of us have to face it somewhere along the line

We only have so much time

We run out so fast, we run out so fast

We only make so much love

Life is leaving fast, it’s leaving us so fast

Some people are saying the world is ending too

They say that it could happen in just a year or two

But the truth is that it’s all going to end sometime

And it wouldn’t make a difference tonight for you and I

We only have so much time

We run out so fast, we run out so fast

We only make so much love

Life is leaving fast, it’s leaving us so fast

It’s leaving us so fast

In a way, finding Colorado was like finding the right spouse. Colorado gives me that feeling of wanting to be better, healthier, more honest, and more natural. I feel myself here. It definitely reflects in my music and in my day to day life.

I recently gave some of my older material a listen, songs from back in my Texas days. There is a twinge a sadness and darkness in most of the tunes. It was good proof to me that I truly am happier here. So, here's to you Colorado! I love you and the good people that abide in you!

For as far back as I can remember I have memories of music. I grew up in a musical family and I remember being impressed by meticulously memorized piano pieces at the recitals we had to go to. I also remember the music at church and the emotions it stirred. Somehow, those two branches of music twisted up in me as I grew. An emotionally strong musical performance moves me like almost nothing else can.

I'm getting excited! This is the first time since living in Texas I have felt compelled to put together a solo project. It's always a little scary letting people hear and experience the things that come out of my brain. But, everyone around me has been so supportive and positive, I'm feeling better and better about it all the time. The people around me are in fact the reason I perceive the sky as full rather than empty.

Look for "Still No Empty Sky" on the website as of May 18th, or wait a little longer and get a download card from me!

The new album will be up on the site as of May 18th if everything goes according to plan.

Jessica has a new solo project coming out in May called "Still No Empty Sky". Short, sweet and darkly beautiful, this album features journal songs from one half of The Prairie Scholars. 

Release date is set for May 18th but iTunes and the like may take a few days more. thanks for your continued interest and attention. 

More on this soon. 

Cheers.

We're in the studio working on a new album for the fall. No title yet but it's sounding great in the newly renovated studio and the list is very strong. 

We're working with our friend old Taylor Sims (of the Spring Creek Bluegrass Band) who is taking up electric guitar and has been playing some shows with us the last year or so. He's an honorary Prairie Scholar and he's a bad ass.

Looking forward to sharing the tunes with you all. Cheers.

Coming back to Colorado is a beautiful thing. Everything is lush and green and the beer flows like wine. I'm getting ready for another CD Release party, this time here in Longmont at Left Hand Brewery (my haunt). The community there is very supportive of Jess and I and I can't wait to share this album with all of them. 

The album has gotten some good reviews so far (go to the press section to read) and I am feeling good about all that has happened in the past several weeks. I've been going on walks to clear my head and focus on the positive but sometimes my mind wants to obsess about the next opportunity instead of enjoying the sweet trickle of success. I have an ambitious nature and sometimes it's to my detriment. 

Relax, take it easy. 

I have a strong desire to be accepted but I have an even stronger desire to be free in my art. The two are sometimes at odds. I'm still young, only 26, and I am learning. I can only learn more, I can only get better.

So, I have to say I'm pretty happy with the response we got this last week in Lubbock, TX. We released the album at the tornado gallery and played at the legendary Buddy Holly Center. I also got to meet a certain Graham Nash. All in all a very encouraging trip. 

So, I have a new retrospective coming out on July 9th. We'll be in Lubbock on July 7th for the Buddy Holly Center and then we are going to stick around  until the 9th for the cd release at the Tornado Gallery. I think it's going to be a great weekend in the ol' Hub city. 

I can't wait to come back to the Buddy Holly Center and have another great show like we did last year and then adding this release party is going to be even better. We'll be having a release party here in Longmont, CO at Left Hand Brewery at some point when we come back as well. 

Then I will begin thinking about my next project: completing my book.

Live Wires is released and "O, Politicin' Man" goes live.

a little about the new record.

The last two years have been years of introspection and planning for me. I came to the realization that for most of my career I had been subconsciously attempting to emulate the artists I was aware of. I worked toward achieving their goals instead of finding out what I really valued about being an artist. That required that I define the term artist itself.

So, Live Wires is a new collection of songs recorded live on the radio here in Colorado. It's raw, just Jess and I live in studio. These songs are mostly from our album "Strangers in the Modern Era". 

I had these bootleg recordings sitting on a hard drive for quite a while before I decided to remaster and release them. People have been asking me when the next album will be ready and since the "retrospective album" is still in the recording phase and the next P.S. album is slated after that, I don't know when it will be done. 

This one is to tide people over until those albums come out. I will be releasing Live Wires on iTunes and the like but for now (next few months), this is the only place to hear it. 

As always there is plenty of new music in the Listening Room here on the site. Please take time to listen to some songs. 

thanks for your continued interest,

Andy

Isn't there some way we can all live here without killing each other? 

Lyrics for Prairie Scholars:

Trouble :

You don’t want to know

me any more than I want to know you

You can’t face me

any more than I can face the truth

I used to think I loved you

I thought that you would always be the one

That I would turn my heart to

Whenever there was trouble

But you are the trouble

You can’t tell me

Any more than I want to admit

you don’t want me

any more than I want you

baby I tried to make myself worth it for you to love

baby I cried to make myself forget that I was not enough

I wasn’t worth your trouble

The Kelly Boys:

Well they rolled back into town again,

I warned them not to come

Wanted men all drinking hard and thinking I’m some bum

So I loaded up the twelve gage

Packed a brace of .38s

The sun was gone and those Kelly Boys were the worst ones in the state

But I am the sheriff, what was I supposed to do?

For you I do

With these rusty guns

and these worn out hands

For you I do

But I didn’t want to

I didn’t want to

Four of them and one of me

I knew I couldn’t miss

If they had all just moved along, it wouldn’t have to come to this

First shot hit young Jim Kelly right between the eyes

I turned the twelve on Bobby, he had no time for goodbyes

Colin and his Brother Phil jumped back behind the bar

They pulled out all their guns but they knew they’d never get too far

I am the sheriff, what was I supposed to do?

Phil’s first shot was a wild one and it went into the wall

But one blast from my .38 blew away is jaw

Colin made a run for it but he was never quite that fast

Desperate times are desperate things and those steps would be his last

But I am the Sheriff, what was I supposed to do?

The Gamble:

I really think I’m worth more than this

 I’ve always been ambitious, always working on a list

 I think that I deserve more than this life

I have always had a goal, I have always checked the time

But I’m running out of time

What if I never reach my fitting place?

And if I never ever see the day

Right now I’m stuck at a job that I hate

They don’t pay me enough to get treated this way

What if I live day in day out like this?

I know soon I’m going to have to take the risk

Of gaining it all or having nothing

I’ve always seen myself as a special case

I thought I broke the mold

Thought no one could be the same

But now I see that I’m no different from

 all the other dreamers that couldn’t find a reason

to push their way through

I’m the only one that matters

When it comes to my sink or swim

No one’s going to dive in

If I start drowning

No one else is gonna to pave the

Way for me, I gotta find my own way

I gotta paint my own face

Hard Love:

Love is the girl that everybody else takes home

Love is the mother who swears you’ll never be alone

Hope is a blanket but it’s worn straight through to the thread

Fear is the villain but I’m sure it’s already been said

It’s a hard love

That’s coming over me, grinding my bones to ashes

It’s a hard hard love

That’s chasing me down, exposing my sins to the masses

It’s a hard hard hard hard love

The world is like a lion and it bites straight through to the bone

It’s like a lawyer who can take everything as it’s own

It’s like a baby but it’s sharpened all of its teeth

It’s like a boulder and it feels like we’re all underneath

You and Me Now:

When I laid down my cross I lost the burdens of two thousand years

And when I looked back at my hist’ry the pages were all bathed in tears

Now the path I see before me is still so very straight and narrow

But I had felt that pain go down so deep deep into my marrow

But the pain is gone and the sun is shining down

I’m so glad it’s just you and me now

I’m so glad it’s just you and me now

I’m so glad it came to be that you would be with me

Cause you’re all I’ve got now

Now that I put away my midnight prayer I put those morning birds to shame

Now that I’m free of all my tyranny I know my life will never be the same

Cause all I want to do is be with you and touch you every moment of the day

This life and love are ours and ours no matter what they say

Cause the shame is gone and the sun is shining through

Can I Hide in You:

My mind is a slow and heavy machine

So simply serene, so simply serene

I know it’s too late to explain

The role you play

Can I hide in you

Will you keep me safe

Cause my love’s dried up

and blown away, again

My heart is a poor and broken display

It surrendered its colors and faded to grey

I know it’s too late to explain

The price I pay

I Would:

If I could I would forget you

I don’t regret you, but I’m living with an open wound

If I could I’d love you forever

But there’s not a place for us in this world

In this world for a boy and a girl, in this world

If I could I would steal you away

We would live out or days with no memory of what we left behind

If I could I would take up all your time, I would give you all of mine

We would never look at the clock, or check a watch

Or feel like we were running out, like we were running out

The risks that I can’t take, the choices I can’t make, the heart that aches, continually

You tell me you care and that you’ll always be there

So why do I still feel so alone?

You know that I still feel so alone

Darling I still feel so alone, so far away

As far as the night is from the day

The Open Road (ballad of Ronnie and Darla):

Buy me a coat and teach me to whistle, buy me steak and leave on the gristle

And I’ll walk from here to where my heart does roam

My telephone is always ringing, like the bluebirds always singing

They’re telling me that I should go back home

The open road, the open road

The open road, is calling me so I must go

I once knew a boy named Ronnie, he was tall handsome and scrawny

And he took from me everything I loved

Her name was Darla, I loved her so, she went with Ronnie to New Mexico

And I’m following on foot and some by train

I’ll catch up in a week or two, as they’re kissing in his VW

And I’ll keep an eye and see where they call home

I’ll wait in the bushes and hold it steady, I’ll keep my knife sharp and ready

And I’ll wait for dawn when Ronnie goes to work

Just what has become of me as I look in upon this lovely scene

Of a man loving a woman  I too love

I think I’ll go into the forest and die by my own hand and my own knife

Cause she said I could go to hell

Flying Down the Highway:

Flying down the highway, hot black top goes out to the horizon

The scenery will pass away holding all my sanity for ransom

When I finally find my home will I know it?

People who are passing by on their way home to a place they are belonging

They all leave me asking why do I feel such emptiness and longing

When I finally find my home will I know it?

Coming home she’s asking me how long ‘til we can kick this town for Boulder

And sometimes I don’t believe that we will go and that we will just die here

When we finally find our home will we know it?

When we finally find our home will we know it?

If You Don’t Feel Like Lovin’

Well it may be time to pack our things and look at hitting the road

Well I think they smell that shit we smoked all the way back here in room 18

And then never had I realized how you had the most beautiful eyes, that I had never seen them this way

Well if you don’t feel like fuckin’ don’t get me high

That’s the thing I’m always trying to explain to you

That if you don’t feel like fuckin’ don’t get me high

That’s the thing I’m always trying to explain to you

Well we woke up in Taos, New Mexico and looked around the room for the wine

And after a glass or two we tried to find something to do by walking all around downtown

23 projects in 11 years. averaging 10 songs per project that's 230 songs recorded.

I've left lots of breadcrumbs.  

Josh Rosenthal has just written a book titled “An Oak Tree Late in Winter: Ten Vignettes & a Triptych”. It is a work that is complex like those “jazz chords” but this time I’m not frustrated by the melody he sets forth. Now I don’t agree with Josh’s religious beliefs but that’s okay because this story is one that, in places, transcends those things.

Everyone is saying that this is the end

Go pack your belongings, say goodbye to your friends

It’s missiles or it’s Jesus or it’s bon fires

It’s shifting poles or solar flares blazing from our sun

Everyone is saying there’s work to be done

They say the mission’s duties fall to everyone

Cause it’s warming or it’s virus or it’s black holes

It’s frozen bits of asteroid careening toward the sun

We only have so much

Time

And we run out so fast, we run out so fast

We can only make so much

Love

Cause life is leaving fast, it’s leaving us so fast

Some people are saying these are the final days

They say to come repent because they know the only way

But the truth is that we’re all afraid of dying

And all of us have to face it somewhere along the line

Some people are saying the world is ending too

They say that it will happen in just a year or two

But the truth is that it’s all going to end sometime

And it wouldn’t make a difference tonight for you and I

If 'the devil made me do it' is no excuse then that means that we are responsible for our own actions. I realize I posted this songs lyrics before but I just wanted to do a little dissecting.

I feel pretty safe saying that there is no devil. That means he can't be blamed for our misdeeds. Genocide, murder, rape, theft, ect. are acts committed by humans. I'm a human. That means that I am capable of the worst acts ever committed.  If I am capable of the worst acts possible I am also capable of being kind, truthful, and loving toward those around me. Am I worthy of love?

I can feel the blood

Moving through my hand

It came from the darkness

In the heart of man

Is there any good I can do

All my labors are faded through

And you Can’t trust the man who wont look you in the eye

But I feel you looking through my skin disguise

I’m so broken now I can’t believe my love

Could ever be much good

Not good enough for you

Cause I feel the darkness. I feel it in my bones

 and  I see it in my mind

 when I should be seeing you

Deepest evil in the heart of man

Beating cold in my chest

Broken promises, one night stands,

Murder greed and the rest

And you can’t trust me cause I am just like you

And we both do what we both have to do

Such natural evil livin in my soul

Doin my best to survive it

I can drain myself of  self-control

I can still just barely hide it

But you can’t b’leive me and my forked tongue

Even I can’t believe the selfish things I’ve done

When you’re with me I can see the sun

my mind a bloom in wild flowers

all my consciousness comes undone

as I lay here with you for hours

The Prairie Scholars are gearing up for booking. We are interested in playing house shows. If you would like to host a concert, please email me at andy@andyeppler.com and we'll talk dates.

looking forward to hearing from you.

lyrics by Andy Eppler 2010

I have been watching TBN. 

I grew up in an isolated but populated desert oasis called Lubbock, TX. I say Isolated because Lubbock is known in the area as the hub city. as in hub of a wheel. because Lubbock is surrounded by lots of other smaller communities. I always heard that's why they called it that. but they were like a tiny little solar system flung out into a sea of empty space seemingly infinite light-years away from the next light source. and it is to this that i attribute my strange surprise upon regular viewing of TBN. This is not the christianity I was familiar with. The christianity I knew was from my life in West Texas where it's a mostly humble, worshipful and peaceful community. The christian TV stuff is mostly ignored by the youth and it serves as kind of a status symbol for the churches in the community. I'm sure that if they could, the city would give every church it's own channel. alas. From what I understand, there isn't exactly room in the city's budget for such things. (see you at Lubbock Music Fest 2010)

I became addicted to religious programing upon moving to Colorado. The DTV switch was not kind to my little family. We got only some channels. obviously I've tried different things to fix this because I want to watch Craig most nights and I still like That 70s Show. I got 3 spanish, 3 pbs, 2 more spanish, 6 religious, and NBC. . . I've been learning spanish. I have little choice but to watch TBN. (I've even resorted to reading books)

It's so different from what I grew up with. watch it. If you can catch John Hagee or Benny Hinn you will be amazed what these guys say and do. and if you can catch a fund raising episode that really is good because they have this little ticker in the corner that shows the number of available lines and when a "heavy hitter" gets up to bat you can literally tell when the spirit will move. (hint: When the busy lines get in the twenties or lower watch and see if the speaker doesn't get a special word. this wont happen if it's benny or hagee or the like because of their wide fan bases)  

come back and comment and tell me your results. Anybody??

A Lesson in Laundry

I sit high upon the stained once-white row of humming thumping jolting and jumping buzzing and bumping washers in the florescent lighting all beaming and biting and glowing away. They stand in attention all strained in formation like centurions from that Galactica show.

My feet are now resting on the basket, a blessing, because my socks were now wet from the floor. I sat there perplex-ed as to how I had vex-ed my stupid damn self into this jam.

See, I had extra room and so I spread out the loads but the last load was lacking so my brain did some wracking and told me it found itself a way. It brought my attention to the shoes on my feet. They were filthy and smelly from the sweat and the heat and the washer would clean them and make them look neat. Neater, I dare say then they have been in a long while.

Hmmm, I thought to my brain.  Your plan is intriguing I hear the bells singing vibrating and ringing and I now know I have solved everything. So in go the shoes, a happy and willing bonus. Never had I done thus but it seemed to me to be a hidden master-way. 

Now a man is walking by me with his young son. Observing for a short time what I have done he looks down at his fledgling spawn and the spawn looks his father in the eye paying him si-   -lent attention. Words pass between them in silent transmission.

“This, son, is an idiot.”

And I knew they were right. It was a pitiful sight. A man with no shoes on washing half of all he be-longs as he sits foolishly staring at the puddle he is now wearing in his socks because of the floor.  I looked back at the boy when he looked back at me and I nodded at him as if to say:

“This, son, is an idiot.”

We all learn from each other so I hope the boy learns that all the ice melts off and all the fire burns and all the people are learning what each of us learns.

I've been thinking a lot lately about life. Over the past few years I've been working through my life piece by piece and making sure I know why I'm doing what I'm doing. Am I chasing a dream? what dream? Am I acting alone or on the behalf of another? these are some of the basic questions. questions that I (and you) had to ask before I continue with my life. through all this I've had to eventually admit to myself that the god i grew up with... doesn't exist.

This may seem like a no-brainer to some people but I was at one time a follower of the christian ideology. I wrote about it. I made music about it. Even though most of my "religious material" has been questioning religion I always seemed to guilt myself into getting back in line. A person who has never been deeply religious may not understand but the guilt I was heaping onto myself made me unable to see clearly. It made me think I was seeing but the truth is that I was living in a different reality. I was literally creating my own world around myself. 

I feel the need to be honest in my life now because now I see that if I could have just been more honest about my doubts and my guilt I would have found that many many people feel that way. So, Yes, I am now openly questioning religion and intend to dedicate much of my time to exploring and unearthing the effects of believing such things. They are, as i can now see, far reaching and universal. I have always wanted to help people. It's what fueled my religious mission. 

I am happier than ever. I want to help others discover the freedom of letting go of my former friend, god.

these are the things I'm thinking about as I make my art. 

I was trying to be creative one day and it wasn't working out for me. I just couldn't get my mind into the mode I need it to be in in order to "get going". Artists probably understand what I'm talking about but the "average joe" may not so I'll try and explain. I can't just sit down and write anymore. I'm to the point where I've become very personal and very purposeful with my art, therefore I can't just shit out a song like I used to. It would be just that, shitting. I can't feel that high you get from being creative when my needs aren't met by it. My needs are as follows:

I need it to be a little more challenging than I am comfortable with. (this stimulates my mind)

I need it to be purposeful. (once I made art that affected someone I become addicted to it)

I need multiple layers of meaning. (like the winters in Colorado, one can never have too many layers even if they end up being undiscovered)

I need honesty. (I can't fully give myself over to creation until I open the doors of my soul)

I need it to sound good. (historically this has not been a major concern for me but I now feel a need for feel in a song)

Now if all that structure doesn't work (and sometimes it wont) I simplify. I ask myself something seemingly simple and see where I can get from there.

one good way is definitions. So I asked myself the other day a seemingly simple question: What is Art?

I had to really think about it for a long time because I wanted to define it in the simplest terms and I wanted to be inclusive instead of exclusive. This was my final answer:

Art is the communication of perceived truth through a medium.

See, I think it all comes back to intent. Problem is, sometimes people have bad or misunderstood intentions. This drives me to be clear about my intent in my art:

My intention is to find and express truth because we all have truth in common.